{QTtext} {font:Tahoma} {plain} {size:20} {timeScale:30} {width:160} {height:32} {timestamps:absolute} {language:0} [00:00:42.15] When I was a child, I wanted to be able to stop time, [00:00:47.13] [00:00:47.15] because I felt like it went by so quickly. [00:00:50.06] [00:00:50.08] I didn't want to grow up. I just wanted to remain a child. [00:00:54.14] [00:00:56.14] But after I started taking pictures, I found that I can stop time, with a picture. [00:01:03.02] [00:01:03.04] That's what inspires me. The fact that you can freeze time. [00:01:07.01] [00:02:03.01] -Hello. -Hello. [00:02:04.14] [00:02:04.16] -A photograph. -Of me? [00:02:08.08] [00:02:17.17] What fascinates me about portraits, are the human beings. [00:02:23.04] [00:02:25.04] How our faces have stories, [00:02:29.11] [00:02:29.13] written in wrinkles, in strands of hair. [00:02:34.00] [00:02:34.02] In a scar. [00:02:35.14] [00:02:36.17] The expression in someone's eyes, the shadows around them. [00:02:41.09] [00:02:59.12] Put your hand there... [00:03:01.24] [00:03:13.18] She goes first, or..? [00:03:16.03] [00:03:16.05] -She wants to take pictures over there. -Let's go. [00:03:21.02] [00:03:24.04] -Do you need some light? -No, it's okay like this. [00:03:27.24] [00:03:29.17] Kalliopi had an old, traditional home where I could take pictures. [00:03:34.09] [00:03:34.11] It's more than 100 years old, and she hasn't changed anything, [00:03:39.18] [00:03:39.20] because she's afraid of losing her memories. [00:03:42.23] [00:03:43.00] I thought that was really beautiful. [00:03:46.08] [00:03:46.10] It appealed to my way of thinking. [00:03:50.00] [00:03:50.02] I wanted things to be the way they were. [00:03:52.13] [00:03:58.09] Perfect! [00:04:00.12] [00:04:11.01] She's a beautiful portrait object. [00:04:14.07] [00:04:15.17] After a while, when I started getting into it, [00:04:18.17] [00:04:18.19] I got some pictures where she didn't pose or smile. [00:04:23.22] [00:04:23.24] She just sat there and acted naturally. [00:04:27.14] [00:04:27.16] I was very happy with that. [00:04:29.19] [00:04:31.00] Okay. [00:04:32.12] [00:04:32.14] Goodbye, my dear. [00:04:35.03] [00:04:36.03] See you next year. [00:04:39.22] [00:05:37.15] When I was ten years old, I became anorexic. [00:05:40.22] [00:05:42.12] When you don't eat, you turn off your emotions. You just float along. [00:05:47.18] [00:05:51.07] I've nearly died several times. [00:05:54.24] [00:05:55.01] It's sort of a slow suicide, really. [00:05:58.12] [00:05:58.14] I've just thought that if I die, I die. [00:06:01.11] [00:06:02.13] But in the past year, I've thought... [00:06:05.10] [00:06:05.12] I've been really worried, thinking I can't die now, [00:06:11.01] [00:06:11.03] because there's so much I want to do with my photography. [00:06:16.03] [00:06:16.05] I have to hurry. [00:06:17.22] [00:06:38.09] I'm 28 years old, and I haven't gone through puberty. [00:06:42.19] [00:06:42.21] I've never had a hint of breasts, never had a period or anything. [00:06:48.02] [00:06:50.06] I suppose it's because I'm scared of growing up. I want to be a child. [00:06:56.01] [00:06:56.03] By not eating, I stop that process. [00:07:00.11] [00:07:00.13] But the doctors say I should be able to reach puberty [00:07:04.14] [00:07:04.16] even though I'm 28, though it sounds strange. [00:07:07.24] [00:07:08.01] But then my body needs enough nourishment over time. [00:07:11.19] [00:07:13.00] And I have to figure out if I'm brave enough to do that. [00:07:17.12] [00:07:17.14] I want to grow old, in a sense. [00:07:21.03] [00:07:46.21] We're at my home in Kolbu. Solbo, as it's called here. [00:07:51.21] [00:07:51.23] My mother grew up here, and me and my sister as well. [00:07:56.19] [00:07:58.24] It's so open. It has a nice view and it's close to the woods. [00:08:04.03] [00:08:06.15] This is the farm I want to take over one day. [00:08:10.12] [00:08:15.13] Hi, there! [00:08:17.05] [00:08:23.01] -It's March 20, and there's no snow. -Four degrees. [00:08:27.22] [00:08:31.18] It's spring, Lene. [00:08:33.09] [00:08:38.02] -The snow is gone. -More! [00:08:40.03] [00:08:47.19] -No, that's enough. -No, more! [00:08:50.05] [00:09:01.21] I've always lived with my mother. [00:09:04.24] [00:09:05.01] I live like a nun here, shutting myself in. [00:09:08.06] [00:09:08.08] When I go travelling, that's when the real Lene comes out. [00:09:14.21] [00:09:14.23] I feel brave then, but it's like... [00:09:18.07] [00:09:18.09] I imprison myself. I don't know why. [00:09:22.20] [00:09:22.22] I'm stuck in a pattern, I think. [00:09:25.01] [00:09:30.01] I feel like I live in a prison, where my illness makes all the decisions. [00:09:36.13] [00:09:36.15] If I don't do what I'm told, I'm punished. [00:09:41.06] [00:09:41.08] I can't eat such and such if I don't do this and that. [00:09:46.01] [00:09:46.03] It's like a Nazi regime in my own body. [00:09:49.03] [00:09:53.24] It's hot. [00:09:55.18] [00:09:55.20] It's even hotter today than yesterday. [00:09:58.17] [00:10:07.01] -Is it here? -Yeah. [00:10:08.17] [00:10:10.19] -Should I extent the legs? -No, not yet. [00:10:14.15] [00:10:30.21] I'm fascinated by the shades of blue, [00:10:33.22] [00:10:33.24] and the light that comes in through the ceiling. [00:10:37.16] [00:10:41.02] When I found the Leprosy Hospital, at Chios, [00:10:43.23] [00:10:43.23] I had to confront myself. [00:10:46.00] [00:10:46.08] Be honest with myself. [00:10:48.10] [00:10:48.24] I walked around in the rooms there and felt that the rooms needed a person. [00:10:53.23] [00:10:54.00] And I thought that maybe I could express something- [00:10:56.12] [00:10:56.12] if I showed my reality, my story. [00:11:00.03] [00:11:00.05] Maybe I could make a difference to others. [00:11:03.08] [00:11:20.14] Expressive pictures. [00:11:22.14] [00:11:23.17] She sees things that I don't see. [00:11:26.10] [00:11:26.12] She notices all the details when she's out among other people, [00:11:32.00] [00:11:32.02] that I've never seen. [00:11:35.01] [00:11:35.07] It's so profound that it's difficult for others to fully understand it. [00:11:41.02] [00:12:06.22] -Is it inside here you are working? -Yeah, I'll show you. [00:12:11.00] [00:12:13.04] I stubbed my fingers here and here and all the way up here. [00:12:17.08] [00:12:17.10] It's not until recently that I've been able to lift things. [00:12:21.19] [00:12:21.21] -You have to be careful. -I'm really careful. [00:12:25.21] [00:12:28.24] -It's a little creepy here. -Yeah. [00:12:31.20] [00:12:31.22] When it gets dark, there are owls and bats here. [00:12:36.05] [00:13:11.11] I always work up an appetite when I take pictures. [00:13:15.03] [00:13:17.04] My body gets to work. [00:13:18.21] [00:13:21.24] I accomplish something other than just being ill. [00:13:25.21] [00:13:42.16] A friend of mine has sent my pictures to Morten Krogvold without telling me. [00:13:48.20] [00:13:52.12] Morten is recognised as Norway's best photographer. [00:13:56.14] [00:14:08.10] I'm very nervous to meet Morten, [00:14:11.03] [00:14:11.05] because I've heard stories from people who have been to his courses, [00:14:16.16] [00:14:16.18] and how they left feeling angry, because he's so brutally honest. [00:14:22.08] [00:14:25.07] I think these two are incredible! [00:14:28.07] [00:14:28.09] This cross shape that's a mix between a figure and a cross, [00:14:33.06] [00:14:33.08] I think those are beautiful. And this bed is amazing! [00:14:36.20] [00:14:36.22] I'd darken this a bit, so we see less of the bed. [00:14:40.12] [00:14:40.14] A little less there, a little more there... [00:14:44.00] [00:14:44.02] Small adjustments like that. I think this is incredibly good! [00:14:48.02] [00:14:48.04] Remember: The ancient Greeks thought that man had four bodily fluids. [00:14:54.02] [00:14:54.04] And these had different qualities. Art is melancholy, so "melancholia". [00:15:00.07] [00:15:00.09] "Melancholia" means black bile. [00:15:03.03] [00:15:03.05] The black bile sent energy up to space, [00:15:07.24] [00:15:08.01] and creative energy came from that. [00:15:11.06] [00:15:11.08] All great art comes from pain, sorrow, death, suffering, melancholia. [00:15:15.19] [00:15:15.21] Beckett, the author, says that the sun outside is the life-giving force of good. [00:15:22.03] [00:15:22.05] But to create, you need the black sun inside of you. [00:15:26.05] [00:15:26.07] That's the force that expresses art. And that's what you turn to as well. [00:15:31.24] [00:15:32.01] You must keep it up... [00:15:33.18] [00:15:33.20] If there's a God, he's given you plenty of talent. You must use that talent. [00:15:39.17] [00:15:39.19] You've endured so much hardship, but you have this talent, you can create. [00:15:45.03] [00:15:45.05] You have to say: "Yes, I'll take it!" And just keep going. [00:15:49.13] [00:15:49.15] So if I put up this, this and this... Now we're talking. [00:15:56.04] [00:15:56.06] These are very good. [00:15:58.07] [00:15:59.16] You're so good with rooms. The setup is so well done! [00:16:04.08] [00:16:04.10] You make the room elevate the picture. That's a quality that impresses me. [00:16:11.12] [00:16:11.14] There's no discussion about the quality of these. [00:16:14.13] [00:16:14.15] No photographer would disagree. [00:16:17.21] [00:16:17.23] You are probably one of the greatest talents... [00:16:21.18] [00:16:21.20] -How old are you? -30. [00:16:24.03] [00:16:24.05] I'd say you're in the top one per cent in the world when it comes to talent. [00:16:30.05] [00:16:30.07] And that's among 300 nations. [00:16:32.16] [00:16:32.18] Particularly because you're so good with space. [00:16:36.02] [00:16:36.04] When I go there, I'm there all afternoon, and I work with the room. [00:16:42.22] [00:16:42.24] Like that one, there. I was really worn out afterwards. [00:16:47.18] [00:16:47.20] I walk around the room by myself, and it just comes to me. [00:16:52.16] [00:16:52.18] -I'm just me. -What will you do the next few months? [00:16:56.08] [00:16:56.10] My goal is to do an exhibition of the self portraits. [00:17:02.24] [00:17:03.01] Yes. I think you should. [00:17:04.21] [00:17:04.23] I'm thinking Nordic Light for that. Really. That would be wonderful. [00:17:11.10] [00:17:11.12] It's the best place to exhibit in Norway. The world's best photographers are there. [00:17:16.19] [00:17:16.21] These would sweep the floor with the rest there. [00:17:21.06] [00:17:21.08] We're having a Nordic Light meeting soon. I'd like to show these there. [00:17:26.13] [00:17:26.15] If I could borrow three pictures... You can decide which three. [00:17:32.11] [00:17:32.13] -Can't you take all four? -I'll take all four. [00:17:36.23] [00:17:37.00] Because that way, I can let you know later this week. [00:17:42.08] [00:17:42.10] She's a very rare talent in photography. [00:17:46.17] [00:17:46.19] She uses her entire sensory apparatus, and she's not afraid to stand out. [00:17:53.15] [00:17:53.17] I'm not complimenting her because she's ill. That needs to be stressed. [00:17:58.04] [00:17:58.06] That would be showing her great contempt, if I said what I said just to be nice. [00:18:05.02] [00:18:05.04] If I did that, I would be done. [00:18:06.21] [00:18:08.02] Goodbye! [00:18:09.17] [00:18:11.03] I had no expectations. I thought he'd be very critical, [00:18:15.18] [00:18:15.20] and that I would lose confidence and feel sad. [00:18:19.19] [00:18:19.21] But it was the complete opposite. [00:18:22.08] [00:18:54.05] Ever since I was little, I've been anxious and scared. [00:18:59.22] [00:19:01.01] I didn't like myself. [00:19:02.21] [00:19:04.24] I remember writhing on the floor, because I hated myself. [00:19:09.07] [00:19:09.09] I expected so much of myself, I wanted to be perfect. [00:19:13.19] [00:19:19.09] I've always thought a lot about death. [00:19:23.08] [00:19:23.10] What happens after I die? Does time ever stop? [00:19:27.08] [00:19:27.10] When I pursued that thought, it almost made me lose my mind. [00:19:33.10] [00:19:37.23] I remember not wanting any food. I started eating less, [00:19:43.07] [00:19:44.11] and that helped with the anxiety and sadness and all the pain inside me. [00:19:50.14] [00:19:57.07] It started in the spring when Lene turned ten years old. [00:20:01.14] [00:20:01.16] Her eating habits changed. [00:20:04.07] [00:20:04.09] The slices of bread became thinner and thinner. [00:20:07.21] [00:20:10.06] We got in touch with our general practitioner, [00:20:14.14] [00:20:14.16] so we took action right away. [00:20:16.24] [00:20:18.04] She was hospitalised for two weeks. [00:20:21.16] [00:20:21.18] She was fed there for two weeks, then straight back out to nothing. [00:20:26.16] [00:20:27.12] You're back from the hospital. [00:20:29.21] [00:20:29.23] -How are you? -Fine. [00:20:32.17] [00:20:33.16] You've gained two kilos. [00:20:35.16] [00:20:37.15] After those two weeks in hospital, I was in charge of her care. [00:20:42.12] [00:20:42.14] I was supposed to make sure she ate. [00:20:45.03] [00:20:45.05] In a way, I was both her mum and her therapist. [00:20:49.01] [00:20:51.12] That didn't work out. [00:20:53.24] [00:20:54.01] Potatoes were smacked against the door frames. [00:20:57.17] [00:21:04.20] I've been admitted to the children's ward at Lillehammer hospital seven times. [00:21:09.15] [00:21:11.24] To me, it felt forced, like a system of punishment and rewards. [00:21:16.16] [00:21:16.18] If you eat, you're allowed to do this. [00:21:19.20] [00:21:19.22] What I needed, was someone asking me: "Can we do this together?" [00:21:25.16] [00:21:25.18] I was just ten years old. [00:21:27.12] [00:21:27.14] I needed someone to teach me to eat, to love food again. [00:21:31.20] [00:21:33.06] "We can't take it anymore. Please do something." [00:21:36.07] [00:21:36.09] "We can't let our child suffer like this." [00:21:39.06] [00:21:41.02] "Lene needs frequent sessions with a therapist." [00:21:44.05] [00:21:44.07] "She's dealing with so many different people." [00:21:46.19] [00:21:46.21] "Having one experienced therapist would help." [00:21:50.14] [00:21:50.16] "Lene says being in the hospital makes her lose her mind." [00:21:55.08] [00:21:55.10] "Please fulfil our wish. Best regards, Torill and Geir Fossen." [00:21:59.10] [00:21:59.12] LENE NEEDS HELP [00:22:02.01] [00:22:02.03] 11 YEARS OLD AND 26 KILOS [00:22:06.08] [00:22:06.10] LENE NEEDS MORE HELP TO GET WELL, HER PARENTS SAY [00:22:11.17] [00:22:17.10] I've been hiding from the health services. [00:22:20.04] [00:22:20.06] It's been a secret I've kept to myself. [00:22:23.22] [00:22:23.24] I haven't shown up for a medical appointment in years. [00:22:28.01] [00:22:28.03] I've just stayed at home and become worse. [00:22:31.02] [00:22:31.04] So I haven't been registered or anything. [00:22:34.17] [00:22:37.13] I could have died at home. My mum could have found me in bed. [00:22:42.04] [00:22:58.00] Is it normal having to wait this long? [00:23:00.21] [00:23:03.14] Coming here really takes a toll on me. [00:23:06.06] [00:23:06.08] I was hospitalised here a lot as a child. I haven't been here since. [00:23:11.11] [00:23:14.06] I went to an eye specialist. [00:23:16.14] [00:23:16.14] He said I had impaired vision because I've been sick for so long. [00:23:21.00] [00:23:21.03] That scares me, because I want to be a photographer. [00:23:26.05] [00:23:26.07] I'm afraid of losing my sight. [00:23:29.04] [00:23:30.12] My body is worn down. [00:23:32.08] [00:23:35.21] I've been repressing it for so many years. [00:23:39.08] [00:23:39.10] It's just starting to dawn on me how serious it is. [00:23:44.15] [00:23:46.17] -Can you please read that line for me? -E, F, C... [00:23:52.07] [00:23:57.09] -T, E. No... -Yes? [00:24:01.13] [00:24:01.15] R, E? No. [00:24:03.07] [00:24:04.20] Okay. [00:24:06.07] [00:24:07.24] -I can't focus. -It is hard to focus. [00:24:10.22] [00:24:12.11] -I'm a bit scared of hospitals. -I see. [00:24:15.02] [00:24:15.04] I was hospitalised a lot here when I was a child. [00:24:18.24] [00:24:20.16] Look at the ceiling. [00:24:22.03] [00:24:24.01] There, and close your eyes. Close them completely. [00:24:28.11] [00:24:28.13] And then we wait. [00:24:30.06] [00:24:36.09] -Are you okay? -Yes. [00:24:38.03] [00:24:38.05] Good. [00:24:39.17] [00:24:43.08] Let's remove the strips and see... [00:24:46.18] [00:24:46.20] There, and there. [00:24:48.22] [00:24:48.24] I can see that your tear production is very low. [00:24:53.03] [00:24:53.05] Far below the normal level. [00:24:55.15] [00:24:56.11] But that can improve if I get better from the anorexia? [00:25:00.21] [00:25:00.23] That's right. It's important that you use artificial teardrops regularly. [00:25:06.15] [00:25:06.17] I panic at the thought of medication going into my body. [00:25:10.22] [00:25:10.24] It's important that you hydrate a lot. [00:25:13.19] [00:25:13.21] -One litre of water a day is recommended. -Oh... [00:25:17.09] [00:25:17.11] But when you have a nutritional deficit, as us doctors call it, [00:25:23.02] [00:25:23.04] that can lead to impaired vision. [00:25:27.12] [00:25:27.14] -It's all connected. -Yeah. [00:25:29.21] [00:25:32.03] It feels damn great to be able to leave the hospital [00:25:38.05] [00:25:38.07] without being hospitalised. Imagine that! [00:25:41.17] [00:25:41.19] Every time I've been here, I've had to stay here, [00:25:46.07] [00:25:46.09] and now I can actually leave. I'm free. [00:25:49.17] [00:25:51.14] I'm not locked up. [00:25:53.18] [00:26:11.04] I don't like telling people that I'm anorexic. [00:26:14.19] [00:26:14.21] It feels like a spoilt illness, or... [00:26:18.16] [00:26:20.19] If you have cancer, you get sympathy right away. [00:26:24.02] [00:26:24.04] If you're anorexic, you just need to pull yourself together. [00:26:29.04] [00:26:29.06] You're just spoilt, you just have to get it together and eat. [00:26:33.23] [00:26:40.08] But it's not like that. [00:26:42.02] [00:26:42.04] I don't think anyone can imagine how painful it is... [00:26:46.09] [00:26:49.00] ...to live in that world, because it affects you, [00:26:53.11] [00:26:53.13] not just physically, but very much mentally as well. [00:26:58.12] [00:26:58.14] It's like being in a burning building, and you can't get out. [00:27:04.23] [00:27:05.00] You try to find a door, but you can't get out. [00:27:08.12] [00:27:20.00] It's as if you're split in two. [00:27:22.14] [00:27:22.16] One part wants to get well, the other clings to the illness. [00:27:27.22] [00:27:27.24] No matter what you do, it's the wrong choice for one part of you. [00:27:33.02] [00:27:38.15] I feel as run-down as this building. Imagine you're renovating all this, [00:27:45.22] [00:27:45.24] and make it operable again. Where do you start? [00:27:49.16] [00:27:59.11] It's a failed project, not eating. [00:28:03.17] [00:28:05.02] What I thought was the solution has become the problem. [00:28:10.05] [00:28:12.06] Stop time, be a child. [00:28:15.03] [00:28:16.07] Have someone watch over me, not be alone. [00:28:20.05] [00:28:20.07] But I've just become more alone. [00:28:23.06] [00:28:23.08] I've lost all my friends, my parents have given up on me. [00:28:27.04] [00:28:36.07] But I haven't given up on myself. [00:28:38.22] [00:28:58.20] During the 18 years I've been ill, I've never wanted to die [00:29:03.13] [00:29:03.15] or kill myself or anything like that. [00:29:06.15] [00:29:08.10] I guess that's one thing I'm proud of, [00:29:11.10] [00:29:11.12] that I have this strong will to live. [00:29:16.20] [00:29:19.08] After each defeat, each hospitalisation, each family crisis, [00:29:24.05] [00:29:24.07] I never lie down, I keep going, I get up in the morning, I always have. [00:29:29.09] [00:29:42.12] Have a look here. [00:29:44.02] [00:29:44.04] The space you get at Nordic Light is as big as this wall, [00:29:50.17] [00:29:50.19] this wall and all the way to here. That's what you get. [00:29:55.10] [00:29:55.12] We're going to make these 26 metres of wall space swing. [00:29:59.00] [00:29:59.02] -I hope so. -Of course. And we will... [00:30:01.14] [00:30:01.16] I'd rather have big ones than many small ones. [00:30:03.24] [00:30:04.01] I agree! Because it's... [00:30:06.24] [00:30:07.01] -So the power really can... -I'm thinking like this. [00:30:10.14] [00:30:10.16] -Yes! Sorry, I got... -Absolutely! No, no! [00:30:14.09] [00:30:14.11] These pictures are so powerful, and they have this beauty. [00:30:18.15] [00:30:18.17] So we have to be careful not to go overboard. [00:30:21.19] [00:30:21.21] We'll have to remove something. [00:30:25.12] [00:30:25.14] This or that? Which one is better? [00:30:28.10] [00:30:28.12] -This one. -Good. [00:30:30.15] [00:30:30.17] And these two, which one is better? [00:30:33.08] [00:30:35.11] That's difficult. [00:30:37.16] [00:30:37.18] -That one. -Great. [00:30:39.21] [00:30:39.23] -Do you..? -Follow your instinct. Very good. [00:30:42.10] [00:30:42.12] -These two. -That one. [00:30:44.23] [00:30:45.00] Yes, good. [00:30:46.18] [00:30:46.20] I like it! That's how it's done. [00:30:49.08] [00:30:51.14] -I have willpower. -Yes. [00:30:53.11] [00:30:53.13] Okay, let's choose. Not this one, they're too similar. [00:30:58.02] [00:30:58.04] Not that one, right? [00:30:59.16] [00:30:59.18] -But this one's been with you all along. -This is fun! [00:31:04.13] [00:31:04.15] Your expression is inspired by the Renaissance. [00:31:08.12] [00:31:08.14] It's close to Caravaggio and also Russia. I see it as deeply religious, [00:31:14.01] [00:31:14.03] as Tarkowski's films. That's a compliment. It's spiritual. [00:31:18.13] [00:31:18.15] This makes me so excited! [00:31:21.04] [00:31:21.06] The way I've been imagining it at home, in Toten, with these pictures... [00:31:27.12] [00:31:27.14] And you say it's like the Russians, and that's what I've felt, too. [00:31:33.05] [00:31:33.07] I'm thinking we can display maybe 50 pictures, with music. [00:31:39.11] [00:31:39.13] And then it's us. [00:31:41.14] [00:31:41.16] You can use any music you want. Maybe not waltz or polka, in my opinion. [00:31:46.14] [00:31:46.16] -That's not really my style, Morten. -No, I didn't think so. Listen to this. [00:31:52.19] [00:31:56.21] This is Greek, you see. A Greek composer. [00:32:00.05] [00:32:19.00] -This is true melancholia. -We have to use this! [00:32:22.00] [00:32:22.02] -What? -I want this! [00:32:23.19] [00:32:23.21] I completely agree! Very good! The screen is four times this room. [00:32:28.12] [00:32:28.14] It reads "Melancholia, Lene Marie Fossen" in deep blue. [00:32:32.18] [00:32:32.20] Then the music comes, and the pictures. [00:32:35.15] [00:32:35.17] -Bam! -Yes, that's what I want. [00:32:38.08] [00:32:39.16] To share my art with people, that's what I want. [00:32:43.14] [00:32:43.16] -For people to see it! You know? -Yes. [00:32:47.15] [00:32:47.17] I think this is the beginning of an adventure for you. [00:32:51.22] [00:32:51.24] I really think so. [00:32:53.15] [00:32:55.14] -One can only hope. -Indeed. [00:32:57.24] [00:33:16.22] It's a little strange... [00:33:18.19] [00:33:20.16] ...that these should end up here. [00:33:23.08] [00:33:25.06] I remember every day I spent there. [00:33:28.15] [00:33:32.11] This one is almost a little scary. [00:33:35.08] [00:33:35.10] My gaze, and the shape of my face... [00:33:40.14] [00:33:40.16] It's like... It goes like this, and it's just like... [00:33:46.00] [00:33:47.04] My hands are sort of gracious, in a way. [00:33:49.24] [00:33:54.24] It's not really me in those pictures. [00:33:57.20] [00:33:58.22] It's pain through art. There can be beauty in pain. [00:34:03.19] [00:34:03.21] It's not pretty, but there's beauty in pain. [00:34:06.24] [00:34:07.24] It's an expression of all the grief in me. Grief over the years I've lost. [00:34:13.00] [00:34:14.04] Do you remember moving that bed around? And hanging the cross back up? [00:34:19.15] [00:34:21.12] It was a lot of work. [00:34:23.11] [00:34:25.05] It took several hours. [00:34:27.04] [00:34:30.00] -You know I'm proud of you, right? -Are you sure? [00:34:33.18] [00:34:34.19] -Are you ashamed? -No. I'm proud. You're brave. [00:34:40.04] [00:34:41.14] Not even of that? Where I'm undressed? You're not ashamed? [00:34:46.03] [00:34:46.05] -No. It makes an impact. -I feel like it doesn't. [00:34:51.14] [00:34:51.16] I'm not ashamed. I thought it was odd when you started doing this, but... [00:34:57.09] [00:34:57.11] Because you said: "Lene, maybe you shouldn't undress so much." [00:35:03.11] [00:35:03.13] "-You know what you're doing...?" -But I wanted to give you some advice. [00:35:08.15] [00:35:08.17] Make sure that you were aware of what you were doing. [00:35:12.17] [00:35:13.16] -But why should I be ashamed? -No, you're wonderful. [00:35:17.22] [00:35:22.00] It's an emaciated child's body. And what the sickness has done to it. [00:35:26.11] [00:35:26.13] I know. [00:35:28.00] [00:35:30.14] I don't think of it as me, in a way. [00:35:33.17] [00:35:33.19] I think they represent something bigger than me. [00:35:37.02] [00:35:37.04] They represent emotions, pain. [00:35:39.22] [00:35:40.22] I'm tired now. [00:35:42.19] [00:36:01.09] This is Lene Marie Fossen. She has done this extraordinary work. [00:36:06.22] [00:36:06.24] We said we would display this exhibition not because of her illness, [00:36:11.05] [00:36:11.07] but because the photographs are outstanding. No doubt about it. [00:36:15.23] [00:36:16.22] The way she presents herself, we can like it or not like it. [00:36:21.24] [00:36:22.01] But she is brave! And an amazing talent. [00:36:27.24] [00:36:28.01] Maybe the greatest talent I've ever seen. [00:36:31.16] [00:36:31.18] Congratulations! Give us a smile, baby! [00:36:34.23] [00:36:36.24] Thank you! [00:36:38.12] [00:36:38.14] You feel physical pain when you look at the pictures. [00:36:41.05] [00:36:41.07] They're incredibly powerful, and difficult. [00:36:43.24] [00:36:46.09] It shouldn't be possible to be alive, like that. [00:36:50.03] [00:37:03.04] ...suddenly, it's a relief to see the colors. [00:37:07.02] [00:37:09.20] These are very unique photographs. In the world of photography, [00:37:15.02] [00:37:15.04] I'm not sure I've ever seen anything like this. [00:37:19.01] [00:37:19.03] It's very important, very powerful. [00:37:21.13] [00:37:21.15] They're very sincere, very authentic. [00:37:24.20] [00:37:27.04] I photographed the famine crisis in Somalia in 1992, [00:37:31.10] [00:37:31.12] and I made this photograph of this young boy. [00:37:34.03] [00:37:34.05] He seems so conscious of his plight, the way that he looked at me... [00:37:37.24] [00:37:38.01] When I was looking at these photographs, it brought back some of those memories. [00:37:43.07] [00:37:43.09] I'm very moved by your work. I want to give you a hug. [00:37:47.02] [00:37:47.04] I didn't have a chance to hug a lot of people in Somalia. [00:37:50.23] [00:37:51.00] -So... -Thank you. [00:37:52.13] [00:37:53.09] It's just like... [00:37:55.05] [00:37:58.15] So amazing. [00:38:00.00] [00:38:02.08] I'll never forget this. [00:38:04.11] [00:38:05.14] Good luck! And thank you so much! [00:38:08.08] [00:38:11.07] It means a lot to me to show my pictures to as many people as I can. [00:38:16.02] [00:38:20.22] I feel like we need to talk about it more. [00:38:24.20] [00:38:25.16] Things that are difficult... [00:38:28.12] [00:38:30.01] ...must be talked about, [00:38:32.18] [00:38:32.20] and taught in school. [00:38:35.16] [00:38:35.18] It's especially important for us kids. [00:38:38.24] [00:38:39.01] -So it's a very good start. -Thank you. That means a lot. [00:38:42.17] [00:39:23.17] I've been ashamed of myself and of my disease. [00:39:28.04] [00:39:28.06] But then I just... [00:39:29.19] [00:39:31.01] I took away every kind of shame and showed reality as it is. [00:39:35.20] [00:39:36.16] I want to show a life story about pain, that there can be beauty in pain as well. [00:39:43.03] [00:39:43.21] Because when you experience pain, you can find strength to get well again. [00:39:50.04] [00:39:50.06] -I don't want to be the girl with... -That's so important! [00:39:54.24] [00:39:55.01] I want to be known as the artist and photographer. [00:39:59.10] [00:39:59.12] Do you think that photography can help you recover? [00:40:03.13] [00:40:03.15] Yes, I think the way I can do it is by photographing. [00:40:08.00] [00:40:08.02] Because then I can fill my life with something else. [00:40:11.14] [00:40:11.16] I've always been an artist on the inside. [00:40:15.06] [00:40:15.08] In addition, I think that, since I've been sick for so long, [00:40:21.10] [00:40:21.12] I've come to know the human soul. [00:40:25.20] [00:40:26.18] To portray other people, and also myself, [00:40:32.00] [00:40:32.02] is about a human meeting, I think. [00:40:35.02] [00:41:13.07] Syria's no good. I saw my brother get killed. [00:41:18.20] [00:41:34.23] One summer I was thrown into the refugee crisis. [00:41:39.03] [00:41:39.05] I started spending time with the refugee children. [00:41:42.10] [00:42:04.02] Everyone has to back up! [00:42:06.01] [00:42:06.03] Move away! Two metres back! Now! [00:42:10.13] [00:42:20.04] Children are always the victims in a conflict. [00:42:23.19] [00:42:26.08] It's all about daring to meet their gaze and to portray them, [00:42:31.05] [00:42:31.07] so that we don't forget. [00:42:33.06] [00:43:24.17] You have a mission now. You should feel that [00:43:29.03] [00:43:29.05] your art is an obligation, to go on. Because it's so good. [00:43:33.10] [00:43:35.15] It's only now that I think that maybe I am a little bit good. [00:43:42.23] [00:43:43.00] Thank you, Lene. [00:43:44.15] [00:43:57.08] An artist doesn't experience this amount of interest very often, I can tell you. [00:44:03.03] [00:44:03.05] She should savour this and enjoy it as she rests and recharges her batteries. [00:44:10.03] [00:44:10.05] Because this is quite rare. [00:44:12.09] [00:44:31.18] Make a wish. Blow out the candle and make a wish. [00:44:36.24] [00:44:37.01] Make a wish. [00:44:38.15] [00:44:40.00] Blow out the candle. [00:44:41.16] [00:44:44.17] Bravo! [00:44:46.12] [00:44:48.19] This cake is very good. [00:44:50.17] [00:45:03.03] Really good. [00:45:04.22] [00:45:04.24] -It is? -Yes, very. [00:45:07.01] [00:45:08.19] Has anyone seen your pictures in other countries? [00:45:12.17] [00:45:12.19] Yes. Big things are about to happen. [00:45:16.14] [00:45:16.16] Fotografiska is Scandinavia's largest photo gallery. [00:45:20.17] [00:45:20.19] After I get back to Norway, I will go to Stockholm, where it is located, [00:45:26.03] [00:45:26.05] and have a meeting with them. [00:45:28.05] [00:45:28.07] If you remember, I told you that it was going to happen. [00:45:31.19] [00:45:31.21] -I told her years ago. -"You're going to be famous", you said. [00:45:36.12] [00:45:36.14] You have so much talent. Not everyone is able to do what you do. [00:45:40.22] [00:45:40.24] You should be very proud. [00:45:43.04] [00:45:43.06] And your mother is probably very proud of you. [00:45:46.22] [00:45:48.10] -I got a very nice dress from my mother. -That's very beautiful. [00:45:53.00] [00:45:53.02] You know what I always said? [00:45:56.04] [00:45:56.06] If I get well... I don't believe it will ever happen, [00:45:59.24] [00:46:00.01] but if I get married, it will be in this dress. [00:46:03.10] [00:46:03.12] Maybe I'll find a Greek man. [00:46:06.11] [00:46:06.13] A Greek man? Absolutely! [00:46:09.13] [00:46:10.07] You come here every year, have you thought of getting a house? [00:46:13.04] [00:46:13.06] -That's my dream. -You would like that? [00:46:16.11] [00:46:16.13] If I win a lot of money. [00:46:19.00] [00:46:19.02] The way you're going now, in a few years... [00:46:21.18] [00:46:21.20] -You shouldn't have big thoughts. -Yes, you should! [00:46:26.09] [00:46:52.19] We were driving towards an intersection, and there was a side road. [00:46:58.17] [00:46:58.19] And a woman crashed into the side of the car where Lene was sitting. [00:47:03.24] [00:47:04.01] When Lene got hit, she immediately said: "Ouch!" [00:47:09.08] [00:47:09.10] "Something happened in my neck." [00:47:12.00] [00:47:23.06] My neck is so stiff. [00:47:25.02] [00:47:39.19] She's been feeling quite down. [00:47:42.05] [00:47:42.07] She's cried a lot, which she doesn't normally do. [00:47:46.11] [00:47:46.15] She's worried it will cause her permanent injury. [00:47:51.21] [00:47:51.23] I tell her it will be fine, don't assume the worst. [00:47:55.16] [00:47:56.16] Mum, can I have the battery and the memory card? [00:48:01.09] [00:48:01.11] -Battery? There's no battery. -There is. In the orange one. [00:48:06.23] [00:48:07.00] -The one I took? -No. Can you give me the orange one? [00:48:10.22] [00:48:11.16] -Here. -You're blocking the light! [00:48:14.04] [00:48:14.06] Just put it there! [00:48:15.21] [00:48:17.10] -You're so irritable. -Yes, I know. [00:48:21.16] [00:48:23.24] -Can you please leave? -I want to be alone [00:48:29.03] [00:48:29.05] -No later than 7:30. -Be careful. [00:48:32.01] [00:48:34.21] -Bye. -Bye. [00:48:36.08] [00:48:38.01] -Make sure everything's in there. -Yes. [00:48:41.06] [00:48:41.08] -And the pills! -Yes. [00:48:44.00] [00:49:07.10] I'm so worried that my neck won't get better. [00:49:12.03] [00:49:29.24] -We agreed to meet in the dining area. -Okay. [00:49:34.09] [00:49:34.11] -So we're on time. -Yes. [00:49:36.23] [00:49:38.05] I have my first agent. Her name is Ellen Willas. [00:49:41.19] [00:49:43.08] She has a gallery in Oslo and wants to represent my pictures. [00:49:48.19] [00:49:48.21] I feel lucky to have met her. [00:49:51.23] [00:50:04.01] My back hurts more when I sit down. [00:50:07.06] [00:50:12.01] It's in my lower back, and my shoulder blade. [00:50:15.11] [00:50:17.09] That damn accident! It ruined everything. [00:50:20.18] [00:50:24.18] -Hello, my name is Janne. -Hi, I'm Lene Marie. [00:50:27.11] [00:51:03.20] These are incredible powerful. [00:51:06.09] [00:51:13.00] They are also amazing photographs. [00:51:17.12] [00:51:17.14] It feels important to me to help share this, your life, [00:51:23.00] [00:51:23.02] with as many people as possible. [00:51:25.07] [00:51:25.09] For us, this would be about creating awareness [00:51:31.06] [00:51:31.08] about eating disorders. [00:51:34.22] [00:51:34.24] This is so powerful. [00:51:37.00] [00:51:37.02] For me it's important to be seen as a photographer. [00:51:41.09] [00:51:41.11] That's who I am. Not my illness. [00:51:44.05] [00:51:44.07] We've seen some of your other portraits online, and they are really good. [00:51:49.12] [00:51:49.14] There are a few ways we could do this. We would very much like to do something. [00:51:55.00] [00:52:03.07] This is so "me". [00:52:05.00] [00:52:16.06] -Irving Penn is my kind of artist. -I could tell. [00:52:20.10] [00:52:20.12] -You recognized it? -Yes. [00:52:22.24] [00:52:23.01] You know my style! [00:52:25.15] [00:52:26.03] Are your ears cold? [00:52:28.07] [00:52:29.23] -You're quite strange. -I know, that's what I keep saying. [00:52:34.16] [00:52:35.23] A rare treasure. [00:52:38.07] [00:52:39.13] Some people know my work through the arts, others know my fashion photography. [00:52:46.08] [00:52:46.10] I hope I get to stand there next year. [00:52:49.12] [00:52:51.01] I have an unofficial yes, but nothing is formalized yet. [00:52:55.23] [00:52:56.00] This is huge for me. Really huge. [00:53:00.21] [00:53:00.23] I'm afraid to believe it, though. [00:53:04.02] [00:53:04.04] They might change their minds. [00:53:06.21] [00:53:13.02] Imagine that! [00:53:15.01] [00:53:16.10] If I could stand there... [00:53:18.10] [00:53:27.12] I'm afraid of getting well. [00:53:29.14] [00:53:33.01] I'm afraid it will affect my art negatively. [00:53:36.15] [00:53:43.10] I don't know what it means. [00:53:45.12] [00:53:51.13] I hope I can get better than this. [00:53:54.17] [00:53:54.19] Get out of bed, at least. [00:53:57.01] [00:53:57.03] To think I could run myself this far into the ground. [00:54:01.00] [00:54:03.01] That has to be my top priority. [00:54:05.20] [00:54:06.18] I don't want to look this awful. [00:54:09.19] [00:54:12.04] People think that I just have to start eating. It's not that simple. [00:54:17.06] [00:54:20.08] That's the bestial part of this disease. [00:54:25.06] [00:54:28.09] It doesn't make sense to me, either. [00:54:31.06] [00:54:35.20] I just can't see how I will manage this journey ahead. [00:54:40.06] [00:55:04.00] When she fell ill, I thought she'd be well for Christmas. [00:55:07.22] [00:55:07.24] It's just as well I didn't know. [00:55:10.14] [00:55:10.18] It 's been terrible years. [00:55:13.01] [00:55:13.01] You're so powerless. [00:55:15.23] [00:55:16.00] I'm very tired now. [00:55:17.18] [00:55:20.15] -Will you help me bake? -No. [00:55:22.23] [00:55:25.17] -It's a long time since you did this. -Yes. [00:55:28.10] [00:55:28.12] -You can join me next time. -Yes. [00:55:31.18] [00:55:33.11] I'm not happy, like I was before. [00:55:36.13] [00:55:39.00] My neck and my head hurt so much after the crash. [00:55:42.24] [00:55:43.20] I feel like the days are unbearable [00:55:47.18] [00:55:47.20] with this pain on top of the pain from the anorexia. [00:55:52.12] [00:55:58.02] A part of me just wants to die, to be honest. [00:56:03.04] [00:56:03.06] If my neck will feel like this for the rest of my life. [00:56:08.01] [00:56:08.03] The worst part is that I can't do the thing I love most, photography. [00:56:13.23] [00:57:02.01] I suppose it was a call for help. [00:57:04.12] [00:57:06.10] But if you'd lost your phone and been unable to call... [00:57:11.00] [00:57:13.12] You'd have been there for eight hours. [00:57:16.11] [00:57:20.01] I wish I'd been allowed to die in peace. [00:57:23.13] [00:57:25.16] Just give me a pill or something. [00:57:28.10] [00:57:29.19] -But you don't really want to die. -No, but living like this... [00:57:34.06] [00:57:34.08] But you don't. You can get better. [00:57:37.20] [00:57:37.22] You don't know that. You're not a doctor. [00:57:41.07] [00:57:41.09] We can't know, but you don't know what will happen. [00:57:45.02] [00:57:45.04] -You've so much to accomplish. -Exactly. But it's physically impossible. [00:57:50.15] [00:57:50.17] It will be, when you get better and get physical therapy. [00:57:55.24] [00:57:57.08] You're lucky to have so many people who care about you. [00:58:01.18] [00:58:05.23] She's staying at my house. [00:58:08.18] [00:58:08.20] I'm often afraid that I'll find her dead. [00:58:12.13] [00:58:12.15] But I manage to keep that at a distance. [00:58:15.07] [00:58:15.09] I think it's some sort of survival mechanism. [00:58:18.14] [00:58:19.15] If I was as afraid as I really should be, I suppose I would snap. [00:58:24.09] [00:58:33.07] I have a really hard time sleeping. [00:58:35.24] [00:58:36.01] Thoughts and images are racing through my head. [00:58:39.15] [00:58:39.17] I keep picturing... [00:58:41.13] [00:58:45.22] The funeral, for instance. [00:58:48.01] [00:58:58.14] I have nightmares. [00:59:00.22] [00:59:03.14] Anxiety. [00:59:05.10] [00:59:31.21] I'm really worried. Constantly anxious. [00:59:36.03] [00:59:36.05] I've got a anxious knot in my stomach. [00:59:39.09] [00:59:41.01] They don't know how this will turn out. [00:59:44.04] [00:59:57.15] I didn't think I would go through this with the health service again. [01:00:02.23] [01:00:04.09] Coercion. [01:00:05.21] [01:00:07.19] You lose your human dignity. [01:00:10.07] [01:00:13.07] You lose ownership of yourself. [01:00:16.21] [01:00:16.23] You're completely helpless. [01:00:19.13] [01:00:22.02] If it hadn't been for the neck injury, I would have had hope. [01:00:26.24] [01:00:27.01] -Have you lost all hope? -Yes. [01:00:29.16] [01:00:32.12] Yes, I have. [01:00:33.24] [01:00:44.22] Before the accident, I started thinking that I wanted to get well. [01:00:49.24] [01:00:50.01] That I didn't need the disease anymore. Things were starting to go so well. [01:00:55.17] [01:00:57.00] Why did you need the disease before that? [01:01:00.05] [01:01:03.03] It was safe when everything else was uncertain. [01:01:06.22] [01:02:20.13] -Thanks for coming. -Thanks for having me. [01:02:24.14] [01:02:24.16] It's so good to see you. [01:02:26.20] [01:02:32.15] It's good that you're getting help. Do you think so? [01:02:36.13] [01:02:40.03] -Then you can take more photos. -I hope so. [01:02:43.07] [01:02:43.09] Yeah, I hope so, too. [01:02:46.07] [01:02:46.09] -If a miracle happens. -Yeah. [01:02:49.01] [01:03:42.01] We were asked, when they approved the committal, if we agreed. [01:03:47.02] [01:03:47.04] We could file a complaint, though. [01:03:49.03] [01:03:49.05] But we realized that it was necessary this time. [01:03:52.22] [01:03:52.24] Otherwise, she would've died. [01:03:56.20] [01:03:59.06] Lene has been ill for 22 years, and it's affected all of us. [01:04:04.00] [01:04:04.02] It's probably difficult to understand for other people. [01:04:08.12] [01:04:14.04] I'm helpless. The only thing I know how to do is to eat less. [01:04:18.24] [01:04:19.01] That's how I deal with life. [01:04:22.04] [01:04:22.06] But I don't want to expose my body to that. [01:04:25.16] [01:04:26.20] I can see how skinny I am and what I look like. [01:04:30.09] [01:04:30.11] I don't want to look like this. [01:04:32.24] [01:04:35.22] I just think that no one in this world [01:04:39.07] [01:04:39.09] would've chosen to have such a horrible disease as anorexia. [01:04:44.00] [01:06:38.14] You feel so small. [01:06:40.08] [01:06:42.10] Comfort. [01:06:43.23] [01:06:59.07] -Do you remember talking about Caravaggio? -Yes. [01:07:03.19] [01:07:03.21] This picture is of Mary Magdalene. [01:07:07.21] [01:07:07.23] It's beautiful. [01:07:09.22] [01:07:09.24] The darkness and the light. It's the same as with my photography. [01:07:15.03] [01:07:15.05] I like having people coming out of the darkness with their light skin. [01:07:21.03] [01:07:21.05] This life force has kept me going, [01:07:24.00] [01:07:24.02] made me able to feel joy, and photographed in spite of being sick. [01:07:29.14] [01:07:29.16] But I feel like that spark went away that summer. [01:07:34.05] [01:07:35.05] Now there's only anxiety. [01:07:38.09] [01:07:38.11] I've never had... [01:07:41.05] [01:07:41.07] It's this strange feeling that nothing will ever be the way it was. [01:07:46.14] [01:07:46.16] -And you're afraid of that? -Yes. [01:07:49.01] [01:07:49.03] -But you hope... -I want things to be like they were. [01:07:52.16] [01:07:52.18] -So hope has become more difficult? -Yes. [01:07:56.15] [01:07:57.23] But you have hope? [01:07:59.13] [01:08:02.09] A very weak hope. [01:08:04.04] [01:08:07.17] May The Lord bless you and keep you. [01:08:09.15] [01:08:09.17] May the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you. [01:08:12.20] [01:08:12.22] May the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. [01:08:17.02] [01:08:18.21] Amen. [01:08:20.08] [01:08:20.18] The blessing doesn't imply that everything is good all the time. [01:08:25.11] [01:08:25.13] It's rather a promise that we never walk alone. [01:08:29.13] [01:09:09.08] It's the 8th of March, and today my committal was terminated. [01:09:13.22] [01:09:13.24] It's an incredible feeling. [01:09:17.15] [01:09:17.17] I feel as though I'm just like other people again. [01:09:21.24] [01:09:22.01] I can travel and make my own decisions. [01:09:25.11] [01:09:29.10] I can decide what kind of treatment I want. [01:09:33.18] [01:09:47.23] "Good deeds save the world." [01:09:51.24] [01:09:52.04] Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson. [01:09:54.18] [01:09:56.17] A child psychiatrist named Hasse Linaae [01:09:59.10] [01:09:59.14] saved me when I was in hospital in Lillehammer. [01:10:03.15] [01:10:04.20] When I had Hasse, I went four years without being hospitalised. [01:10:09.12] [01:10:10.02] He was the first one to ask me what I wanted. [01:10:13.16] [01:10:13.18] Everyone else just forced me to do things. [01:10:16.04] [01:10:17.13] The first thing he did was give me a book. He said: "You're not a disease." [01:10:22.15] [01:10:22.17] "Split the page, write 'disease' on one half." [01:10:26.00] [01:10:26.02] "Give it a name." I named it "stupid". [01:10:28.15] [01:10:28.17] "Write Lene on the other half." [01:10:31.01] [01:10:32.01] He taught me that I was more than just a disease. [01:10:35.20] [01:10:35.22] And he encouraged my artistic side. [01:10:39.14] [01:10:41.04] He's the reason I've survived no matter what. It's all because of Hasse. [01:10:47.02] [01:10:48.20] What separates Hasse from many others, [01:10:52.02] [01:10:52.04] is that the health service and many people are afraid of this disease. [01:10:57.23] [01:10:58.00] And that's the problem. [01:11:00.11] [01:11:00.13] Fear leads to medical personnel making the wrong decisions. [01:11:06.19] [01:11:06.21] When you're afraid, you often react by making rules [01:11:11.22] [01:11:11.24] and establishing regimes. [01:11:14.02] [01:11:15.12] Thinking if you're strict, everything will be okay. [01:11:19.11] [01:11:20.14] Hasse said: "This is your room. Look forward to coming here." [01:11:25.23] [01:11:28.16] "Because I can handle all of you." [01:11:31.03] [01:11:38.03] I haven't touched my camera since the accident. [01:11:41.18] [01:11:48.21] I just need to take some time... [01:11:52.00] [01:11:52.02] -It's been so long since I... -Take as much time as you need. [01:11:56.13] [01:12:04.03] There. Yeah, like this. [01:12:07.12] [01:12:12.11] That was great, thank you. [01:12:14.11] [01:12:14.13] Thank you. [01:12:16.14] [01:13:03.20] "When life comes into existence, it must be loved." [01:13:06.23] [01:13:07.00] "Loved because it exists." [01:13:09.20] [01:13:09.22] "It is difficult to give life the space to become what it wants to be." [01:13:15.10] [01:13:15.12] I think that's such a beautiful description. [01:13:19.00] [01:13:21.07] I think that all human beings, [01:13:25.16] [01:13:25.18] whether you're evil, you've done awful things, [01:13:29.13] [01:13:29.15] or you've abused or killed people... [01:13:33.17] [01:13:33.19] I believe that all people just want to be happy. [01:13:38.16] [01:13:39.21] But something went wrong because we can't handle life. [01:13:44.14] [01:13:44.16] That poem describes it beautifully. [01:13:47.23] [01:13:49.07] Life is simply this... [01:13:52.17] [01:13:53.24] Amazing, puzzling, great gift that we receive. [01:13:58.09] [01:13:58.11] But we're not able to live it. [01:14:00.21] [01:14:04.10] It's so difficult to give life the space to become what it wants to be. [01:14:09.18] [01:14:17.04] I carry so much fear, anger and sorrow inside of me. [01:14:23.15] [01:14:23.17] It's like I've locked away those feelings in a box inside. [01:14:28.12] [01:14:31.22] I'm just afraid that if I open it, it will be too much for me to handle. [01:14:36.11] [01:14:36.13] That it will be too much for me to carry. [01:14:39.13] [01:14:40.22] I think that these feelings has to come out so that I can become healthy again. [01:14:45.12] [01:14:47.16] My pictures, I feel like they are the key, if there's a key. [01:14:53.19] [01:14:56.08] I just haven't quite figured out how yet. [01:14:59.18] [01:15:39.23] Dad, can you sit closer to me? [01:15:42.10] [01:15:44.12] -Like that. -And mum. [01:15:46.05] [01:15:48.02] And look into the camera. [01:15:50.12] [01:18:02.19] Subtitles: Helgesen, Vab� & Lie www.btistudios.com [01:18:06.19]